Harmonize, don’t polarize

I recently saw a video on Facebook that showed a black family sticking up for their teenage daughter who had been the target of racial slurs while in line at a restaurant. It quickly turned into heated argument and name-calling. The man was actually holding his wife back. She was ready for a fist fight. It is hard to watch that kind of thing. But I know it happens every day. But I would prefer to harmonize, not polarize. How can we do that with the current crazy behaviors in our country?

Don’t Polarize – It Doesn’t Help

boy bullying girl

I have no doubt that the people involved in the argument came away from that situation more polarized than when they went in. By arguing and name-calling, each side was standing up for what they believed in. The teen who was the target of the bigotry ended the video with a comment like “See, this is how they think of us. This is what happens.” And I imagine that the racists walked away with further “proof” of their point of view. So I don’t see this as the way to solve the problem. It polarizes and reinforces the opposing viewpoints. If you have ever raised a teenager, or had a heated argument, you know what I am talking about.

Don’t get me wrong. I think that bigotry of any kind is wrong. I am frightened when I see an opening racist presidential candidate taken seriously. It mirrors too closely what happened in Germany leading up to WWII.


Harmonize, don't polarizePersonally, if I saw any type heated argument anywhere, I would definitely not step in. That would only put myself in the fray, escalating it further, and potentially make me a target of one side or the other. It would only further escalate the situation. I want to find a way to harmonize.


  1. Deal with it BEFORE any confrontation happens. If you know anyone who has racist attitudes, try to have the conversation with them. I think that underneath our beliefs, we all want the same things: Peace, Happiness, Freedom. It’s just that we have vastly different ideas of how to achieve that. Talk to your friends, associates, coworkers to learn why they believe what they believe. Find out what they want and how you might harmonize with that underlying desire.
  2. If you witness someone making a racist (or any -ist) comment, say something to them. But not in a confrontational way. Again, take it as an opportunity to talk and to harmonize. Even though they are being rude, it comes from a call for love. Be an archeologist and find out more.
  3. Get clear on what you believe. The more clear you are about who you are and what your basic desires are, the better you can meet other people’s opinions.
  4. Examine why you believe that. Do you want to keep that belief? If you have a belief, what is the underlying desire. Peace? Equity? Harmony? Freedom?

One way to examine your beliefs and levels of attachment to them is to take my online course, The Five Levels of Attachment, base don the book of the same name by don Miguel Ruiz Jr. Be brave, dive into the deep end of your mind. Find out more and register here:  http://spirit-edu.com/learn/courses/the-five-levels-of-attachment/

And if you would like to find out more about examining your own beliefs and how to change your life for the better, schedule a free 30-minute Inner Light consultation with me to learn more and see if we are a good fit.

How About You?

What is your favorite way to deal with racists?