How Did I Get Here?

Have you ever wondered “How did I get here?”

Not how you were born, but how you got to the place you are now in life.

Why you think the way you do? Why you see the world the way you do? And why other people don’t see it the same way? In other words, how did you get here? How did life get to be the way it is?

Your Belief Soup – How did it get here?

soupIt may seem like common sense, but most of us don’t realize that each one of us grew up in a different soup of beliefs from parents, birth order, teachers, circumstances, expectations, and the like. All of that shaped who we are. And sometimes life moves too fast to examine some of the things that we assume to be true. Looking at those beliefs as they come up helps us understand the question: How did I get here?

Don’t Believe Everything You Think

Memory-thoughtMost of our life is lived from the unconscious level. This is a great thing because we don’t need to constantly remember to breathe, we don’t need to consult a map every time we go to work or drive home. But it’s not so helpful when we continue to run the software installed in our subconscious that no longer serves us, or that never did.

Some parents, doing the best they knew at the time, withheld praise or even actively ridiculed their children in order to get them to do better. But research shows that until we are about 7 years old, we are like little tape recorders. We just absorb it all and believe as the truth,  unable to discern or process information in the way they had hoped. That’s why you may find with surprise that you talk or walk or make a hand gesture just like one of your parents. It’s in the subconscious.

Beliefs About Ourselves

puzzle pieceMost of us grew up with mixed messages about who we are. We received some great messages and some that were not so helpful. Many of us were teased for our size, height, hair color, skin color, you name it. Kids who tease seem to be really good at zeroing in on something. I must admit that I did it too, copying behavior that I received.

So if you feel unworthy or not-enough or too-much, it’s likely it came from messages outside of you. And you don’t need to believe them any more.

And… It is a lifetime project to edit out the thoughts and beliefs that no longer serve me.

So here’s my practice

Notice I say PRACTICE. Practice makes perfect. It doesn’t start that way. When I notice an emotion or thought or behavior that doesn’t feel good, the first thing I do is be as objective as I can about it. Instead of adding judgment that I shouldn’t feel that way, I see it and mentally note it. When it’s safe to do so, I may examine it more with a feeling of curiosity. With some thoughts – like wanting that amazing fresh-baked cookie at Oliver’s, I notice it and choose not to follow it. Research shows that the more we follow a particular habit or choice, the more ingrained it becomes in the brain. The neurons that fire together actually wire together, changing the physical landscape of our brains. So we need to practice in order to change that.

A Suggested Solution

Sleeping CatSo why not reprogram your subconscious to clean out those feelings of less-than, not-enough, can’t-get-what-I-want, and so on? If it sounds right, try this:

Get out your smart phone, and record, in your own voice, affirming thoughts and self-praise. Any messages that you think would be helpful for you. Affirmations that you believe, but haven’t quite seemed to stick so far because your subconscious thoughts keep over-riding them.

If you’re a technical whiz, add some soothing music underneath.

Now, listen to it as you sleep. Try it for a night or a month. And let me know how it goes.

Want to Look Deeper?

Schedule an Inner Light Consultation to explore this question and see if I am the right person to guide you through it.

How About You?

Do you have special tricks for overcoming subconscious beliefs?

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