Ever make a mistake in a relationship? We all have. We weren’t taught this stuff in school. But it is a major part of our lives. So we can either study the subject or learn by trial and error to avoid painful relationship mistakes.
This past weekend I went to a workshop called Creating Sacred Relationships, led by Dr. Brenda Wade. She spoke about the 5 worst relationship mistakes and what to do instead.
Not only did she give us permission to share what she taught, but encouraged us to share it. So I am sharing a few gems from her about the worst relationship mistakes we make and what to change.
The 5 Worst Relationship Mistakes
- Not being present – We’ve all done this and felt it from another.
- Letting fear run us – Fear stands for Forget Everything And Run!
- Avoiding self-investigation – 2/3 of our mind is subconscious.
- Not taking Self-Responsibility – Conflicts are rarely 100% one person’s fault
- Doing the same thing and expecting different results – If we want something different, we need to try something different.
So of course, the habits to practice are:
- Be aligned with yourself in the present.
- Face your fear – Let it stand for Face Everything And Recover.
- Self investigation – We can explore the things that run us. By making them known, we bring them into awareness and then can choose freely.
- Self responsibility – In our hearts, we know what our contribution may have been.
- Do something different – This opens up space for something new to happen.
Earlier that morning, Dr Brenda also shared more gems:
5 Cs that kill relationships
- Contempt (proven to predict divorce)
Toss these behaviors out!
The 5 As to Improve a Relationship
- Allow (yourself and the other to be who we are)
We all love to receive these things, so why not start giving them to others, and especially your significant other? So give these freely, starting with yourself.
We Have 3 Brains
I’ve heard this in recent years. Neurobiologists have found that we have neurons in our hearts and gut as well as in our brains. So when we say that we are trusting our gut, we are following that brain. When we follow our heart, we are using that brain.
Want a Guide to Explore Your Cs and As?